In their own words
Meghan Brown

Meghan Brown graduated from Princeton University with a degree in English in 2002. She is a 2002 New York City corps member, and taught for two years at CIS 232 in the Bronx.

September 8, 2003

It is the first day of my second year of teaching, and I am still feeling anxious. I am well equipped to plan instruction and manage my classroom from my year of experience, but I don't know exactly what to expect from my new class of sixth graders, especially having never taught sixth grade before. What I do know is that my expectations for my class are high. I want to move them forward a full two grade levels in both math and literacy, and develop a respect for learning in all of my students.

I wait in the auditorium for my class to be called, and walk nervously up to my room with my new students. Within minutes of having everyone settled in the classroom, a boy twice my size with a voice that carries and a fantastic smile named Nick Houston puts all of my fears to rest. He is the most articulate 11-year-old I have ever met. He volunteers to hand out papers, he asks all sorts of great questions while we go over class procedure, and is eager to share about himself when we play getting-to-know-you games. Nick does all this, and the rest of the class follows. By midday, all twenty-five kids in my class are working together as though they've been in the same class for years. I feel right away like the year is off to a rolling start. My class is going to go far, and Nick is going to lead the way.

At the end of the day, I look through the stack of writing samples that I collected and notice that most of my students are able to organize their thoughts into sentences and paragraphs. I finally get to Nick's sample, which I've been looking for, and I am shocked at what I see. It is an unintelligible collection of symbols that look almost like letters. I can't make out a single word, let alone a sentence. I can just barely read his name at the top of the page. Nick, my bright, talkative class leader, is illiterate.

November 19, 2003

With the school year now in full swing, Nick's enthusiasm is waning. His frustrations with his reading and writing ability often translate into behavior problems. He constantly seeks attention, either from me or from his classmates. He gets angry when I don't call on him, he calls out and chats with his neighbors, and when this fails to get my attention, he yells or gets out of his seat.

It is clear, however, that we are making progress. Overall, my class has advanced nearly a full grade in reading and writing, and many of them are reading on sixth grade level. Their basic math skills are also improving, and several students have made major breakthroughs with fractions and decimals. And, I think I've finally figured out what is holding Nick back. I watch him closely when he writes and realize one day that he is unable to copy down a problem from his math book. Somehow, he can't process what he sees in the book into his own writing on the page, whereas my other students are more than able to copy the problem over, read it and apply the math skills they have to solve it. I start to wonder whether Nick might be dyslexic, and talk it over with our Guidance Counselor. She has me begin the referral process to get Nick officially diagnosed.

In the meantime, though, Nick is making huge gains with the help I can give him. After much trial and error, I have figured out Nick's taste in books: he will read almost anything that has to do with magic, unless it's Harry Potter, or any Babysitter's Club Little Sister book. Though he tries to hide it, I can tell he's beginning to enjoy reading by how well he concentrates. His level has already increased from 2nd to 3rd grade. He also loves staying after school to work on his writing, as long as he can play our Apples to Apples vocabulary game when he's done. He's begun to write full sentences that I can understand. Despite his challenging classroom behavior, it is clear that Nick is making impressive strides. And given the gains he's made academically, I expect that Nick's greater self-confidence will eliminate some of his behavior problems.

June 15th, 2004

As the school year winds down, I perform a final reading assessment with my class. I am extremely happy with the results, as a whole the class has moved forward almost two grade levels in reading. Nick's results are particularly impressive. Over the course of 10 months, he has progressed from 2nd to 4th grade level, a remarkable achievement. His writing skills have also improved to the point where he can write a three-paragraph essay that I can understand.

After months of rescheduling meetings, filling out forms and consulting various specialists, Nick's mother, the guidance counselor and I have completed paperwork to get him the services he needs to cope with dyslexia.

Nick has already advanced tremendously in reading and writing, and I hope that, with his counseling, he will be able to continue this growth so that he can be at grade level by the time he finishes middle school. I could not be more proud. For a student to come as far as he has in one school year is incredible. And as he began to feel more and more successful, his behavior improved significantly. His newfound confidence, which has lead to his vastly improved behavior, will undoubtedly help him as he moves on to other classes and faces even more challenging work.

Nick embodies the struggle I have faced as a teacher. Teaching and learning are not always a pretty endeavor. They are a messy and heartbreaking struggle. I am left thrilled at my class' successes and disappointed in what we were not able to achieve. I am drained by the challenges I face working in a low-income school and frustrated by the fact that there are students steeped in a tradition of failure, but I'm renewed by the knowledge that my class was able to create its own culture of success. For every challenge I face in the classroom, there is an even greater reward. Nick had some of the worst behavior problems I saw in my classroom, and far more challenging academic struggles. And yet, working through them was by far the most thrilling experience I had as a teacher. Nick could have a bad morning and make me wonder why I had ever wanted to join Teach For America, and in the same day make a huge breakthrough, and remind me exactly why I was in my classroom every day.

Note: Some names have been changed in order to protect the privacy of individuals.

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