In their own words
Shyla Kinhal

Shyla Kinhal attended the University of Michigan and majored in political science and Spanish. She is a 2004 New York City corps member and she taught second grade bilingual at PS/MS 279 in the Bronx.

October 5, 2005

Just one month into the year—I am already really attached to my students and excited about the classroom community we've created—my students feel pride in themselves and are eager and ready to learn. But last week Chris Calderon arrived and I can already see it's going to be a challenge to reach him.

Yesterday, we were all on the rug practicing our basic addition facts. Though Chris rarely participates, I know from the work he's doing that he feels most confident in math, so I asked him what 5+5 was, thinking he would answer without hesitation. I saw the number 10 written on his paper, and though Chris's English is limited, I knew he knew how to say 10. We waited and waited. I asked him the question again, in case he hadn't heard me. But Chris said nothing—he just looked up at me nervously. I felt confused and disappointed. I was trying to boost Chris's confidence, but it seems as if I had done the opposite.

I called Chris's mother that night, and she told me that Chris's family has moved back and forth between Ecuador and New York for the past two years, and this time, Chris's father had to stay in Ecuador. She told me how close Chris is to his father. He waits with anticipation for those five minutes each week that he is able to hear his father's voice on the phone, and he often cries at night asking for him.

Today, when I tried to talk to Chris about his father, he just shrugged his shoulders, looked away and whispered, "Mi papá no está aquí. My father is not here."

I can't imagine what it must be like for Chris. I can see now why he's not focused and I'm overwhelmed at the thought of trying to help him make gains in school while he's dealing with this situation at home. And to make matters worse, I assessed his reading and writing and discovered that he's one year behind in Spanish and three years behind in English—which means he can't read or write a sentence. Our class goal is for all of my students to increase their reading levels by one and a half grade levels, and Chris will need to make even greater gains. This is going to be a challenge for all of my students, but especially for Chris.

January 15, 2006

Ever since Chris's mother and I first talked about his father, she's become a true partner in helping take on Chris's issues. In fact, at the last parent-teacher conference, Chris's mother said to him, "Chris, Ms. Kinhal es como tu mama en la escuela. Ella te quiere mucho, así que la tienes que escuchar. Chris, Ms. Kinhal is like your mother in school. She loves you, so you have to listen to her." Not long after the conference, we agreed that the best thing for Chris would be to meet with the school counselor on a weekly basis, so he has a forum to express his feelings about his father. Since then, things have been going a little better with Chris, but he still hasn't come out of his shell and I haven't figured out how to get him to feel the same "orgullo," or pride in himself and his work that I've been talking about with my class all year and that I know his classmates feel.

Then, a few weeks ago, I announced to the class that we were going to perform a skit about Rosa Parks and the Montgomery Bus Boycott in front of the entire school. After I gave out the parts, Chris immediately ran to me, and said, "But Ms. Kinhal, I really want to say something in the play!" I couldn't believe it. For the entire year, Chris has been too shy to speak in front of his fellow classmates—even in Spanish. The play is entirely in English, so I was really surprised—and excited—that he wanted this responsibility. This was the first time that I had seen Chris showing real confidence and motivation at school.

Chris has really dedicated himself to preparing for the play—carrying around his lines and practicing them everywhere—even waiting to be picked up after school by his older cousin. But still, seeing Chris up on stage, I grew nervous. I'm sure that I was more nervous than he was. What if he froze like he did that day on the rug? But he stood up on the stage with confidence and he said his lines effortlessly. I got chills watching him up there. No one in the audience would ever have guessed that just a few months ago, this seven year-old was hesitant to say even one word in front of his own classmates.

Despite all of the obstacles, Chris had believed in himself enough to take a risk, and then worked hard and succeeded. I had never felt such pride as a teacher, but that quickly turned back to frustration and disappointment as I went back and reassessed Chris's reading and writing levels, and realized he had barely made any progress. We've worked so hard, and yet he is still so far behind. I was devastated, but I knew that I couldn't give up on Chris now that he had just started to believe in himself.

April 3, 2006

I can barely recognize Chris as the student I met back in October. The progress that he has made is remarkable. He has gone from a student who was completely unmotivated to learn, to one of my most engaged and participatory students. And he is truly happy and comfortable in the room. Every morning, before my students enter the classroom, they either give me a handshake, a high five, or a pound. Well, every day Chris runs right past my hand and gives me a hug, and a tight one at that!

I look at the work that Chris is doing, and I am so proud of the progress he has made, but it didn't happen over night. I think back to the countless hours I spent with him after school reading one on one, the buddy reading program I established so that he could read once a week with a sixth grader, and the numerous conversations I've had with his mother. When Chris started the year, he couldn't read a single word in English, and just yesterday, he read a book on mid-first grade level, and was able to tell me everything that happened in the story! In English! There is still a ways to go, but there are two months left in the year, and I'm confident that he will be ready for third grade by the end of the year.

Today, we had a publishing party to celebrate "How to" stories my students had completed. Every one of my students had worked on their pieces, but no one worked harder than Chris. He spent hours in class and after school revising his story—one day he even asked me if he could work through gym to finish his story. And his hard work and dedication paid off. His story on "How to make a bowl of cornflakes" was one of the best in the class. His details were so elaborate that he went so far as to advise the reader to, "only put a little bit of cereal into your spoon, and chew slowly." After he had finished reading his story to the group, I heard a 5th grader who had attended the celebration say to Chris, "Wow! You made eating a bowl of cornflakes sound so good, now I want one!"

A huge smile spread across Chris's face a smile that showed me his "orgullo"—that he takes pride in his work and is committed—not for me, not for his mother, not even for his father, but for himself.

Note: Some names have been changed in order to protect the privacy of individuals.

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